This video essay is genius. In case maybe you've seen it, it's Videogamedunkey's opinion on game critics. Even if you have, maybe it's worth giving another look, because you might have missed the main point behind all the comedy, as I originally did. The point is this: a review is meaningful if you know whose voice you're hearing.
Generally speaking, I ignore reviews. Why? Because most people's voices aren't mine, and by now I know there isn't ever likely to be much of an overlap. The reviewer could hold something in negative regard that for me is a positive; they could consider an aspect to be crucial that to me is an afterthought or less; they could have different aesthetic tastes; we could be looking for something different from the product. The list goes on. That said, there is one reason I watch a few reviews before buying or playing a game: they tend to showcase a lot of central elements in a shorter timespan compared to a gameplay video (which will be slower) or a trailer (which will instead prioritize shock and awe.) Will I be waiting for their verdict on whether or not it's "good", though? Hell no. Not unless it's a rare case of them grading the same things I would.
That's all I have to say about reviews, but it brings more to mind, and this is my blogpost, so let's cover it.
I've long given ratings to media, generally individual tracks when going through an album in Foobar. If an album's not especially gripping me but I'm still deciding to continue, I'll probably be throwing a bunch of high 2s or low 3s on each track. Most of the time, it seems like nearly everything's a 3, but when I see how many 4s and 5s I've accumulated, that's when I remember why I listen to music (or do anything) in the first place.
To be honest, I don't just do this for media. I even assign ratings to times in my life, current level of wakefulness, et cetera. I don't keep logs of it, nor do I do it out of any intention or by any method, but I seem to have a strong instinctual inclination to quantify. It can be satisfying to look back on the various phases my life has undergone, and I suppose having an internal concept of how to compare them gives a direction to those trains of thought so I can keep my mind on them.
Anyway, similarly to Dunkey, I ended up settling casually on the following ratings:
Regarding the 5/5 rating, Anthony Fantano essentially echoes my exact thoughts. There may be criteria, but I sure as hell don't know what they are. Isn't that what makes life a 5/5? ;)